I like a lot of things. Love many. I like to write (however intimidating it may be), I love music, I love hanging out with my kids, I love to admire my husband when he doesn’t know I’m watching, I love to cook and create great things to eat, I like getting to spend time with my family, beer, running outdoors, learning new things, making people happy… the list really does go on and on.
But what happens when you continue to wake in a fog and each day seems to fade into the next? The things that you can list that you love and like just don’t seem to get into your daily routine. I’m quite certain I’m not the only person who feels this way. How we find our way to this *funk*, they’re all different stories and circumstances; some harsh, some fickle. But whatever the reason, the funk needs to be taken out to the curbside, and it’s imperative to get back to the like’s and love’s.
Recently, I’ve been immobilized by the haze. Then I think how lucky I am to just be here. From a very young age, I got to know death. It’s finality never ceases to amaze me. For that one brief moment, when you’ve found out you’ve lost someone, whether it be a loss due to illness, old age, accident, suicide or murder… It never gets any easier to swallow. But still we carry on. Days become weeks, weeks become months and before you know it a year has passed. The hurt takes a backseat to the day-to-day. But when there’s silence, that hurt creeps up. And it’s not even in physical death. We mourn the loss of friendships and other relationships that just don’t serve us anymore. The thing about loss, physical or emotional – it stops us in our tracks for a bit. It makes us look inside, it makes us look outside. Never at a more poignant time do we evaluate where we’ve been, where we want to go… then routine tends to creep back in. At least that has been my experience. I’m on a mission to make each day count.
Here I am, in this foggy haze. The only thing I know for sure right now, I’ve got to make THIS day count… The nice thing about fog, in the physical sense, it’s quite mysterious (unless you live by the ocean, otherwise, you might be used to seeing it). I’ve always lived in the desert, so when I see fog, it’s this big billowy bright unexpected excitement that fills me. Something new, light, fluffy and brings a smile to my face. So why does mental fog not evoke the same feelings??? Perhaps I’m looking at it all wrong. Maybe the mental fog is indeed meant to be bright and billowy, a chance to realize something’s got to give…
From one day to the next, I never know what I’m going to get. But I’ve become to expect stress. Surely that’s not the way this life was intended to be lived. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not so naive to expect that there won’t be challenges and obstacles as we age. No, trust me, I actually thrive on challenges. I work best under pressure. But when you relive your day in the evening, every day should not be a blur of a circumstances in a pressure cooker waiting to explode. With this thought in mind, I know I need to make some changes.
I’m a one-day-at-a-time kind of person these days, so that’s just what I’m going to do for the next 30 days. I’m challenging myself and anyone else who would be inclined to join me to do something new every day for 30 days and reflect upon that experience.
What I will do on day #1? I have no idea, but I’m sure my crazy imaginative wild mind will come up with some fun stuff.
For now I’ll leave you with this…
Looking for a good thought provoking read? Here you go…
What adventure are you going to make happen tomorrow? Can you handle something new every day for the next 30 days? I sure hope so, I’d love to hear about it….